


A Healer, a Warrior, a Wise Man, Bespoken

by Starjargon



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Day of the Doctor insert, Doctor Who 50th Anniversary, Every Doctor is fair game, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Jealousy, Spoilers, Timey Wimey fun, episode insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-13
Updated: 2013-12-13
Packaged: 2018-01-04 12:46:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1081185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starjargon/pseuds/Starjargon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctors started something long ago, but how did they know it needed starting? They need someone they can trust to spread the word. Luckily, someone pops by who can't wait to see all of them... again. Fluff. Rated T for suggestiveness. Major spoilers for 50th. One- shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Healer, a Warrior, a Wise Man, Bespoken

**Author's Note:**

> A/N- just a bit of silly fluff I thought of while wondering about something in the 50th (major spoiler alert). All quotes belong to Steven Moffat and the BBC. Please review.

"But where would Gallifrey be?" Clara asked, excited but unsure.

"Frozen. Frozen in an instant in time. Safe and hidden away."

"Exactly-"

"Like a painting," the old war hero whispered.

"And that would work?" asked the sole human girl.

"Oh, of course," reassured her Doctor.

"Well, probably. Weelll, maybe… There's always hope," reasoned his directly former self.

"It would take enormous power-"

"And with the precise calculations-"

"We could almost certainly do it!"

They giddily jumped up and down, excited and bouncing all along the small hut, jumping with uncontrollable joy.

"But those calculations-"

"It would take centuries-"

"Even if I started when I was you I doubt it would be enough."

"No, we'd have to start long ago to catch up now…"

Clara was looking to the three of them, a eyes darting back and forth between the three men, before an even bigger smile threatened her face. Even as the three Doctors were all figuring out just how much time would be needed for these critical calculations, they halted quickly when they saw a flash in the corner of the room.

"Well," said River Song quite seductively, " _Hello Sweeties._ "

The three men looked up at her, speechless.

"River!" her floppy haired husband yelped, startled. "What are you doing here?"

She hid her hands behind her back, a grin slowly making its way up her face.

"Well… I haven't seen you for a while my love… Just thought I'd pop by for a visit."

"Who _is_ this?"

"Oh, the Warrior. One of my favourites," she purred, rolling her shoulders back as she took him in with satisfaction.

"All me's are your favourites," responded her husband wryly.

"Hmm," she agreed, that pleased smile on her face.

"River Song, what do you have behind your back?" asked the wary Doctor of the woman he'd only met a couple of times now.

"What?" she asked in a sweet voice no one believed. "Behind my back?"

"Yes- you've had your hands behind you this entire time. What are you hiding?" He was still young enough to be constantly and uninterruptedly irritated by this woman's future burned into the forefront of his mind.

"Me? Hiding something? Like what, Doctor?"

"River Song- I know that Cheshire cat look. Not only have your hands been behind your back this entire time, but your coat is buttoned all the way up. Not buying it. Now come on, we've no time for games. Out with it," demanded the Doctor she'd married, hands on his hips as he faced her.

Her grin broadened into a large toothy smile as she brought her hands in front of her, revealing her hidden treasure, and quickly unbuttoned her coat- revealing a frilled shirt and brown and beige- striped trousers. Neither her cat pin nor the fact she was wearing a cleaner, newer version of the elaborate waistcoat currently shared by the old- looking man in the room escaped anyone's attention either.

"River!" cried the bowtie wearing Doctor, even as his infuriating wife started playfully twirling the twisted cane she had been hiding.

"I don't get it- it's just a cane," commented a very confused Clara. "Although- that pin does look familiar…"

"That's not just any old cane. That's- that's-" initiated the puzzled warrior.

" _Our_ cane. And shirt. And our trousers! But, how-" questioned the Doctor in the long coat.

"River! Do you have to- to do… that… with- with- with every me?!" gasped a _nearly_ \- blushing (he had, after all, been married to _River Song_ for quite a while now _)_ and somewhat aghast young- looking Doctor, fully aware of how his wife had come by some of these most personal belongings of his various younger selves.

She threw her head back and laughed gleefully, pulling her Doctor to her and kissing him hard on the mouth. His arms automatically wrapped around her, reveling in the kiss for just a moment, before he let his hands slide to her waist, where they settled as he pulled her away from him.

"It's not as though you complain about it, Dear," she smiled contentedly at him. She lifted an eyebrow to each stunned Doctor in the room pointedly before commenting, " _Any_ of you."

"But I- we've never- I would've remembered-" the Time Lord with the great light brown hair sputtered as River's smile grew smug and sly once more.

"Now see here young lady-" She turned to the war Doctor, hand on her hip and eyebrow raised, silencing him.

"River Song, whatever shall be done with you?" sighed her _husband_ resignedly.

"Oh, I have a few-" she began in an enticing tone.

"Not to interrupt this clearly important moment with Ms. Song, but isn't there still a war on?" interrupted Clara.

"Yes!" shouted the very oldest Time Lord, jumping up and clapping his hands in excitement. "And you, Dear, arrived just in time." He bounced as he turned around, bopping her on the nose.

"Ooh, I like the sound of that," she said, suddenly growing more serious and eager, sensing adventure in the air.

"Wait, are you telling me that this woman knows _all_ of us?"

The middle Doctor looked her up and down appraisingly. "Apparently she at least will do- and very well."

River laughed as she winked at him, leaning forward on her newly- acquired cane. "Of course I do, my Love. Now, what did you need?"

"How would you like to give me a message? Every me, again and again- a very _important_ message?"

She looked around at all three versions of her Doctor, eyeing them with anticipation. "Go to different versions of you again and again? Sounds _delicious_ ," she teased.

"Wonderful! Now I know it'd be pointless to ask you to behave-" rambled her Doctor.

"What kind of wife do you think I am?" she asked, feigning offense at the mere suggestion.

"Wait a just a minute-" began the soldier.

"Did you just say-" continued the man who'd made quite a few guesses already.

" _Wife?!"_ continued the astounded warrior.

"No time for that now- as I was saying, there's no point in telling you to behave yourself, but you do need to make sure I remember this one thing every time- and it's very important." He leaned in and whispered in her ear. She leaned toward him as well and concentrated, before he pulled back and looked at her. She nodded, sincerely, and promised the message would get delivered.

"Now, I suppose I don't need to deliver this message to the three of you, do I? Or perhaps I should anyway, just to be sure you remember it," she added, flirtatious once more.

"Don't bother with this one," Clara quipped, thumb pointing at Sandshoes. "He's just gone and married Elizabeth I, so I think any such messages will have to be put off for a while." She winked and smiled conspiratorially at the skinny newlywed, then at River, whose face had now changed to a cross glare, the hand not on the cane resting on her hip as she scowled at the oldest Time Lord in the room.

"Don't blame _me_! _He's_ the one who put his foot in his mouth and eloped with a queen!" he fumbled, trying to escape his wife's temper, thoughts of an army of Daleks seeming almost trivial compared with River Song's rage. As her gaze refused to soften, he straightened his bowtie and casually stepped behind his war- soiled incarnation, using his younger self as a Time Lord shield.

The offending Doctor found himself utterly interested in the ceiling, and the boxed Moment, and anywhere but young River Song's face.

The formerly unacknowledged Doctor looked bemused by his two flustered counterparts, then stared at the woman who'd so unsettled them both with a look. Oh, he was going to like her. But now was not the time.

"It seems to me… this row could be settled at a later time. Perhaps when the fate of our race and several planets did not rest in the balance?"

The recently royal Doctor cleared his throat, sticking his hands in his pockets as he nodded, a look of concentration and joy back on his face.

The eldest retreated from his hiding place behind his other selves, pulling on his lapel as he carefully approached his wife, who was deliberately looking at any Doctor but him.

He gently grabbed her arm as he passed her, stopping to say into her ear, "If it makes you feel any better, she _did_ just help us defeat Zygons." She continued to ignore him. "And I thought _she_ was the Zygon when I proposed." Still no luck. "And when I married the amazing, powerful, passionate, gorgeous woman beside me right now, Liz the 1st was still waiting in a glade for us to run away together." She shifted her eyes to him, only just slightly tilting her head in acknowledgement. "And _she_ is the only woman, the only _person_ , I would ask to help me save my people. Please, River- it was never the same thing."

She rolled her eyes at this, cupping his face and looking at him sternly. "Do you really think," she questioned fiercely, "that I am so stubborn a woman that I'd let anyone else get hurt just to pacify my temper? It seems you don't know me as well as you thought, Doctor." She turned to the other two, who looked reprimandingly at their future self for his assumptions about her.

"I never thought that," he tried pacifyingly. "I just didn't want you to be angry with me while you're saving my world."

She sighed, rolling her eyes sardonically once more before her teasing smile returned. "Oh, my love- did you really believe I didn't know?" She chuckled, raising her eyebrows, before singsonging, "Spoilers."

He looked over at his other selves, then back at her face, which had the most victorious smile on it.

"Amazing? Gorgeous? I ought to get jealous with you more often, if I'm going to be receiving compliments like that." She beamed at him; he too rolled his eyes as he cupped her chin and kissed her nose lightly.

"Cheeky," he chuckled before she pulled away from him to comply with his request.

"Now then, if you lot excuse me, I have some more souvenirs to collect." The other Doctor's eyes went wide as the eldest's held a flirtatious playfulness matching his wife's. "I saw this scarf I wanted once. And I really could use a new leather jacket. And a recorder. A hat wouldn't go amiss either," she mused, winking at them as she input coordinates into her vortex manipulator.

"See you soon, Sweetie."

"I looked forward to it, I'm sure," her husband responded with a slight nod and a lighthearted smile.

"Go easy on me," his slightly younger self implored quickly.

She looked at the youngest two mischievously, her laugh downright devilish before she sighed dramatically. "You two obviously have so much to learn still." She winked before disappearing with a flash.

The air of utter glee once more pervaded the small hut as the oldest Doctor rubbed his hands, twirling excitedly to meet the eyes of the other two.

" Attagirl! She'll get the message out," he assured with confidence.

"We married River Song?" asked his former regeneration, with a slightly nervous grimace.

"She frustrates the life out of me, flirts uncontrollably, constantly seeks out and puts my life or her own in danger, and scolds me for nearly everything I do. Of course we married her."

"But what about-" the younger man began once again, before their hidden ninth self piped up once more.

"Now, she's truly brilliant, but we've wasted enough time! We've got a planet to save- to the TARDIS!"

"Right!" the two older men chorused, bounding toward their trusty ships. They had a planet to save. All of them.


End file.
